I recently got tickets to the Pune Times Fashion 2022 show which was sponsored by ADYPU. I was excited. I had never been to one.
I pretended to be a famous fashionista and took days planning my perfect outfit. When I went to the show I was awestruck by the fashion game everyone came with. I quickly recognized the latest brands and fashion trends. I was amazed. The show began a little late but it was on time according to Indian standards.
I was in the second row but I could get a good glimpse of the runway. The lights dimmed and smoke filled the air. Music began playing at a slow tempo and on cue, a few models appeared within the shadows. The beat began to change to a rapid tempo and the lights changed to suit the aura of mystery and anticipation. Right on the beat, the first model began to walk the runway gracefully. The crowd was fixated on her. She was beautiful and confident. She was followed by the rest of the models who were as pristine and flawless as her.
While the show was a success I was left with positive as well as unsettling thoughts. I began to wonder about the social norms that define a woman.
There are endless ideas and theories that tell us what it means to be a woman and what is a woman. Being a woman comes with certain standards and expectations, especially with regard to their physical beauty. Women in every career are faced with the pressure of looking their best. Of course, men have their own challenges but as a woman, I can vouch for the struggles of my fellow women based on my own experiences. If not being told what to wear and how to dress we are constantly bombarded with ideas that we need to look a certain body type.
While social media has played can be blamed to be the biggest culprit it has also tried endlessly to do away with the ideals it so created.
You are now bombarded with information about body positivity, loving yourself, and beauty in every size. However many women across the world are still struggling with low body image and low self-esteem. While these awareness campaigns have been an inspiration and have made many changes over the years, it seems that they have also indirectly helped maintained the problem.
The conversations about women and their bodies have not stopped but have now become the theme of every marketing campaign. These conversations unknowingly reinforce these harmful associations which indirectly create strong schemas. Schemas are organized information through which we perceive our world.
When we look at women, unconsciously these strong schemas become activated and become the focus of our perception .
The more schemas or beliefs systems are created the stronger will be the association between women and their bodies. How then can we weaken this unconscious schema? We can do it by diversifying the nature of the information we encounter. That way, no one schema will be strong but a variety of schemas associated with women.
For example women as smart, women as being kind, and helpful, women being able to balance work and family obligations, etc. in addition to their physical appearances
Another problem is that these campaigns have created an incongruence in thoughts about their bodies and feelings about their body for many women. Telling yourself on a thought level to love yourself when in reality you do not feel that way is a dissonance that one has to go through. For a person to experience self-love, it must be experienced when there is a union between thoughts or feelings, or a congruence must be experienced. Achieving congruence is a personal journey of self-healing and feeling attuned to your body. It means listening to your body, listening to its signs of happiness and cries of pain. We tend to be so focused on what should be done or what everyone is doing that we fail to hear what we need or what is best for our body only.
Self-love is a personal journey of deep listening, understanding, and accepting. Listening comes from self-awareness and a deep focus on self. Understanding comes from correctly interpreting what the needs are unique to you. And accepting comes from having a non-judgemental view of self where flaws and mistakes are a part and parcel of life. Achieving a true positive body image is an ideal that can never be stable nor can be universal. It is a fluctuating journey of one day feeling confident and the next feeling insecure but is a beautiful journey unique to every woman.
The beauty of being a woman lies in the subjective understanding that one cannot be defined in any way nor can anyone fit into society's ideals. It is about being able to define your own yourself and work hard to always be your best.
“Now you understand
Just why my head’s not bowed.
I don’t shout or jump about
Or have to talk real loud.
When you see me passing,
It ought to make you proud.
I say,
It’s in the click of my heels,
The bend of my hair,
the palm of my hand,
The need for my care.
’Cause I’m a woman
Phenomenally.
Phenomenal woman,
That’s me.”
Phenomenal Woman
MAYA ANGELOU
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